Lol.
1 Like
here’s one from Facade:
Click to expand
FACADE STAGEPLAY
Thu Jul 19 10 41 03 2012
GRACE
Trip, when are you going to get rid of this?
TRIP
What, Grace… this?
GRACE
Yes, you know how I feel about it –
TRIP
I know I know I’ll do it right now, alright?!
GRACE
You know I’ve had to ask you about this several –
TRIP
Get off my back! I’ll get rid of it in just a minute!
(Dave knocks on the front door.)
(Dave knocks on the front door.)
(Dave knocks on the front door.)
GRACE
Fine, Trip… – (interrupted)
(Dave knocks on the front door.)
TRIP
Uhp, he’s here!
(Dave knocks on the front door.)
GRACE
What?! You told me it’d be an hour from now!
(Dave knocks on the front door.)
(Dave knocks on the front door.)
TRIP
No, he’s supposed to be here now!
DAVE
HELLO!
GRACE
God… Trip!
(DAVE knocks on the front door.)
(DAVE knocks on the front door.)
(DAVE knocks on the front door.)
(Trip opens the front door.)
DAVE
OPEN THE DOOR!
TRIP
Dave!!
TRIP
Hey! It’s been too long, man! – (interrupted)
(DAVE hugs trip.)
TRIP
Uh…
TRIP
Well come on in…
DAVE
It’s been forever!
TRIP
Uh, let me go get Grace…
TRIP
(unintelligable arguing) – (interrupted)
GRACE
No, no, here we are!
GRACE
Dave,
GRACE
Hi! How are you? God it’s been a while!
DAVE
hi grace.
GRACE
H-mmm (happy smile sound)
GRACE
And, I’ve got to say, you look really good!
GRACE
So come on in, make yourself at home!
TRIP
Whoops, I need to go close the door.
DAVE
Yeah I know, so do you too!
GRACE
Uh…
(Trip closes the front door.)
(DAVE sits on the couch.)
TRIP
Oh, Dave, take a look at this photo I just put up from our trip to Italy a couple of weeks ago…
(DAVE gets up from the couch.)
GRACE
(little sigh)
TRIP
Dave, Come here, I want you to look at this!
TRIP
Ah, yeah, this is some kind of amazing view. I never get tired of looking at it.
DAVE
italy painting.
DAVE
I saw it. When i came i’n
TRIP
Oh, you’ll never guess where I took – (interrupted)
TRIP
Yeah, yeah, I’ve, I’ve got to tell you about Italy!
GRACE
Trip we don’t want to depress our guest.
TRIP
Dammit Grace, would it kill you to be positive for once? God.
DAVE
No you did, The last time I played.
TRIP
You don’t agree…
GRACE
Dave, come over here and sit on the couch with me.
GRACE
Trip, darling, your obsession with that photo of yours is making our friend uncomfortable.
(DAVE sits on the couch.)
TRIP
(little sigh)
DAVE
Can I have a drimk please?
GRACE
Yeah, I’m hoping you can help me understand where I went wrong with my new decorating, ha ha.
DAVE
Can I have a drink please?
TRIP
Oh, well, thanks –
GRACE
Oh, Dave, you always have such nice things to say. He’s so sweet.
DAVE
I am.
(DAVE gets up from the couch.)
GRACE
So, about my decorating…
GRACE
(little sigh) You know, everybody says the view from our balcony is fantastic…
TRIP
Yeah, it really makes you feel like you’ve made it.
GRACE
but I’d really rather see some trees or something… a natural green would enhance the colors of the room so much better.
TRIP
uhh…
DAVE
Well there a potted plant over thar
TRIP
Yeah, before, I wanted to say,
TRIP
if there’s one thing Grace is really passionate about, it’s her decorating…
GRACE
What? God,
GRACE
Dave, don’t listen to him, it’s just a hobby, really –
TRIP
No it’s a real creative thing for you, it’s really great, you get so into it –
GRACE
No Trip there are things I am much more passionate about than decorating, believe me.
GRACE
Ha ha, geez.
DAVE
now your going to fight.
GRACE
Hold on…
GRACE
You think I’m…
GRACE
angry…
TRIP
Ha ha, ha, oh, you’re – you’re quite the kidder tonight, ha ha ha…
DAVE
I heard it outside, I can go.
GRACE
Ha ha, yeah…
TRIP
Ha ha, heh, never afraid to say anything that pops into your mind, ha heh heh…
DAVE
heheheh
TRIP
Well, it’s impressive… even after a full day’s work designing – (interrupted)
TRIP
See Grace, no one is complaining about your decorating, there’s nothing wrong with it!
TRIP
Yeah, hang on, ooh, I’m going to make you one of my fabulous drinks in just a minute!
GRACE
Uhh, Dave, try not to encourage him.
DAVE
Can I have Budweiser?
GRACE
Okay, okay, this is getting really tiresome…!
GRACE
You know what, I’ll be right back.
TRIP
Grace, what are you –
GRACE
No you two keep talking about the bar and drinks and the amazing view and
TRIP
What? Where are you going?
GRACE
I’ll just be in the kitchen.
DAVE
I’m just going with it…
TRIP
(frustrated sigh)
DAVE
If I had anything to do with this.
TRIP
Um, uh, Grace, sw - sweetie pie, could you –
TRIP
could you bring out s - some of those… those… uh, tuscan sun dried – (interrupted)
TRIP
Wait, Dave, where – where are you going?
DAVE
Tuscan raiders!
DAVE
I’m exploring.
TRIP
Uhh, Jesus, – (interrupted)
TRIP
Uhh, Jesus, why are we all having this… misunderstanding… tonight… uhh…
TRIP
(frustrated sigh)
(DAVE picks up a trinket 6.)
(DAVE puts down a trinket 6.)
TRIP
I – I hope you don’t think… mmm… there’s… there’s nothing… heh…
GRACE
I didn’t – (interrupted)
GRACE
What? Oh…
DAVE
I’m sorry.
GRACE
Look, the things you’ve said tonight, I know what you’re trying to say…
GRACE
I mean if anyone just looks, they can see, that I just… want something that I can… give… that I can care about…
DAVE
I don’t love you.
GRACE
Is this why you came in here, to tell me this?
DAVE
Trip does.
GRACE
Everything’s fine, Trip, everything’s fine.
TRIP
Yeah, yeah, everything’s fine!
DAVE
It’s true.
TRIP
You know what? It’s about time…
TRIP
I fix us some drinks!
GRACE
Pssh… I knew that was coming, heh.
DAVE
YAy!
TRIP
Uh, well, um, we need drinks!
DAVE
Water…
TRIP
W – well, uh, I’m going to open an exquisite Bordeaux!
TRIP
Top of the line, very rare, very difficult to acquire –
GRACE
God Trip, you’re just like my dad with the whole wine snob thing.
TRIP
I’ll take that as a compliment. Dave, what do you say?
DAVE
PARTAY!!!
(DAVE picks up the red wine bottle.)
TRIP
No no I really think we should have this wine, trust me, trust me!
GRACE
Dave, maybe you’d like some juice, or a mineral water?
DAVE
Party time.
GRACE
Okay, Trip, that’s what he wants!
TRIP
No, this is a special get-together, I want to open this wine, I’m not going to settle less!
DAVE
Budweiser.
GRACE
You seem perfectly happy settling for less when you sneak off to that crappy little sports bar down the street!
DAVE
okay wine.
TRIP
What?!
GRACE
Don’t think I don’t know about your secret little hangout where you watch football and drink lite beer with lowly construction workers…
TRIP
How – how do you – how do you know about that –
GRACE
If only the guys at your high – (interrupted)
TRIP
Dave, are you – are you looking for something?
DAVE
no. I’m scared…
TRIP
There’s really not much to see in there, it’s just the kitchen…
DAVE
i’m scared.
TRIP
(little sigh) Anyway… I can’t remember what we were talking about…
TRIP
Ahh, this is bullshit!
DAVE
Noting important.
GRACE
Ahh, no, you’re full of shit!
GRACE
Your goddamn sports bar… – (interrupted)
DAVE
please stop…
TRIP
What, what’s that, what are you saying, what?
(DAVE puts down the red wine bottle.)
GRACE
Huh? What is this you’re saying?
TRIP
(little impatient sigh) Dave, I…
TRIP
(frustrated sigh)
GRACE
Oh, Dave, yeah…
GRACE
I know what you’re going to say,
DAVE
should I go?
GRACE
How you can’t stop talking about the view.
GRACE
Everyone tries to explain everything…
GRACE
Trip, our whole marriage, you’re so… controlling!
TRIP
Oh, Jesus…!
GRACE
Alright, you know what, Dave,
GRACE
I need to ask you something.
DAVE
I could come back later…
TRIP
Grace –
GRACE
Trip, let me ask our guest a question.
GRACE
Dave, yes or no…
GRACE
In a marriage, shouldn’t one person try to make their spouse a better person, even if they don’t want it?
TRIP
What?
GRACE
I mean, even if they don’t actually want it, shouldn’t you help your spouse understand a better way to
GRACE
Yes or no.
DAVE
yes,
TRIP
What…?!
TRIP
Oh, alright… yeah…
DAVE
But I’m not on her side.
TRIP
Uhh, Grace, you think I’m some kind of shallow person, obsessed with money, that I don’t love you! You think our marriage is all just a sham!
GRACE
Oh, I can’t believe…!
GRACE
Uhh! Yeah, good, get out of my sight!
GRACE
I don’t want to look at you!
GRACE
Goddammit!
GRACE
uhh!
GRACE
Dave, I can’t believe you have to see this…
GRACE
uhh…
GRACE
Look, maybe you should just leave…
DAVE
it’s okay, You expressed your feeli
GRACE
Oh… Dave, I – I…
TRIP
Grace, are you talking about me?
GRACE
I wasn’t talking about you!
DAVE
No trip.
TRIP
Dave, (annoyed sigh) Grace is sometimes so…
GRACE
Oh, we’re talking about me again, are we?
TRIP
What?
TRIP
Dave, look around this apartment. It’s got everything anyone would ever want. But, Grace, oh no, she’s never satisfied.
GRACE
Trip, … ugh … I’m so sick of this.
DAVE
neither are you.
TRIP
Well, heh, I – I mean, we – heh – we – we’ve got everything…
GRACE
Trip, you just don’t… uhh.
TRIP
Uhh, I, I – I can’t believe this…
GRACE
Look, why don’t we talk about – (interrupted)
DAVE
What CAN I do to help?
GRACE
Oh, Dave, thanks, but, what we need right now is to just get all this out in the open…
GRACE
Look, why don’t we talk about us, our relationship.
TRIP
It’s so annoying… Grace, why is it that anytime I want to do something nice for you, you resist it?
GRACE
Trip…
TRIP
Like I always have to convince you?
GRACE
Dave, you know, – (interrupted)
DAVE
because she loves you.
TRIP
It’s just never easy with you, Grace, and it wears me down.
GRACE
(frustrated sigh)
DAVE
and you love him!
TRIP
Aha!
GRACE
What…? Are you trying to say… I might not love Trip?
TRIP
What?!
GRACE
Oh, god, I – is that… is that what you think is happening here?!
DAVE
no you should love him.
TRIP
That’s, – (interrupted)
TRIP
Ah!
GRACE
Uhh… Dave, it’s not that I don’t care for Trip, of course I do…
TRIP
‘Care’ for me?
DAVE
I know.
GRACE
You want me to say I love you, Trip? I can say it. I love you.
TRIP
Grace…
TRIP
Let’s keep talking about Grace.
GRACE
Dave, it’s time that Trip finally just admits that our marriage –
DAVE
no.
TRIP
Grace, don’t, no, you don’t need to –
GRACE
Admits that our marriage is not –
TRIP
Stop it, stop it! (annoyed sigh)
DAVE
Love is very powerful.
GRACE
Yes?
GRACE
Ah, thank you, just saying that helps me! See, this – this is how it’s been for the past ten years!
TRIP
Uhh…
DAVE
I want to help, But please.
TRIP
No we need – we need to talk – (interrupted)
TRIP
No, uhh… Dave, we just need to get this all under control, that’s what we need…
TRIP
No we need – we need to talk about us both, not just one.
GRACE
Trip, can’t you see, it’s the way you speak, the way you talk to me…!
TRIP
What, I’m not allowed to be angry?
GRACE
You tell me what to do, you don’t listen.
TRIP
Dave, I’m not telling her what to do, I’m trying to help her!
DAVE
Maybe internet dating.
DAVE
Maybe get drunk?
TRIP
Let’s talk some more about – (interrupted)
TRIP
Dave, does it look like I want to fix you drinks right now?
DAVE
no.
GRACE
Let’s keep talking about us, our relationship.
TRIP
You know, I can’t say Grace never acts loving towards me…
TRIP
Dave, She’s all over me at our goddamn parties, trying to look good in front of the guests!
DAVE
Maybe you shouldnt put on any?
TRIP
Dave, oh my god…
TRIP
Grace, even though you’re now a creative director at work, and even though you redecorate the apartment all the time, the truth is… you’re not an artist.
GRACE
Uhh…!
TRIP
I’m sorry, you’re not.
GRACE
Dave, uhh…
GRACE
Dave, you see, this is what I’ve had to put up with, for ten goddamn years.
GRACE
Dave, if there’s something – (interrupted)
DAVE
she is an artist, you are complaint
TRIP
Ah!
GRACE
See, Dave, all this time, I just can’t stop thinking that I should have been painting!
TRIP
Why don’t you just do it then?
TRIP
Be a goddamn artist already. What are you afraid of, Grace?
GRACE
Well, but… Dave, I… I… uhh…
DAVE
Is divorce the way to go here?
GRACE
The thing about divorce… I – I never used to be able to imagine myself as divorced…
TRIP
Uhh – and now?
GRACE
well…
TRIP
Grace…!
DAVE
Okay, Scrap that.
GRACE
Yes?
TRIP
No no no, this is just crazy talk, this is crazy talk, just stop it!
GRACE
(frustrated sigh)
DAVE
divorce is off the table.
GRACE
Aha!
TRIP
D – divorce? Dave, you think we – (interrupted)
DAVE
no
TRIP
No?
TRIP
God, I, I – I mean, to even suggest divorce is… (little sigh) Look I’ll just forget you said that.
DAVE
just reccomending.
TRIP
Ugh!
DAVE
I regret my actions tonight.
GRACE
Okay, that’s it, goddammit, I can’t do this anymore!
GRACE
Dave, I know what you’re trying to hint at…
GRACE
about me…
GRACE
about art…
GRACE
Do you really want the honest truth? Huh?
GRACE
Dave, do you want that?
GRACE
Trip?
DAVE
fine.
GRACE
No, Dave, just, yes or no, do you want to hear the truth?
DAVE
yes.
GRACE
Dave, I’ve actually been paying close attention to what you’ve been saying tonight.
GRACE
You’ve been pushing me tonight.
GRACE
It makes me wonder if you’re really my friend…?
DAVE
i am?
TRIP
Grace!
GRACE
Dave, Stop interrupting me, let me finish!
GRACE
Dave, come on – yes or no…
DAVE
Were all friends here.
GRACE
Do you really think that…
GRACE
praising Trip…
GRACE
saying that Trip is not loved…
GRACE
telling me to make art…
GRACE
suggesting we get divorced…
GRACE
and worst of all,
GRACE
suggesting that I don’t love Trip…
GRACE
but especially what you said about trying to make your spouse better…
GRACE
that all that is supposed to help me understand something about myself?
GRACE
Is what you’ve said tonight supposed to add up somehow, to something?
GRACE
Is it? Just give me a yes or a no.
GRACE
This is not a trick question.
DAVE
Pieces to a puzzle.
GRACE
No, Dave, just give me a yes or a no.
DAVE
yes.
GRACE
Right.
GRACE
I painted this.
TRIP
Bullshit.
GRACE
I am an artist, Trip, fuck you.
TRIP
You’ve been secretly painting? When –
GRACE
Everytime you go on a goddamn business trip, I paint.
TRIP
Jesus –
GRACE
So don’t EVER give me any more of your ‘you could never be an artist’ crap!!
GRACE
uhh…
TRIP
uhh…
DAVE
Ay ay ay.
TRIP
Jesus…!
TRIP
Dave, I, uhh…
TRIP
This changes everything…
DAVE
whatever happened to fun?
GRACE
Yes, it does change everything.
GRACE
And no, Dave, hold on…
GRACE
I think it’s over.
TRIP
Grace, what –
GRACE
No!!
GRACE
It’s over, Trip, don’t you see that?
TRIP
Wha… but you just said –
GRACE
I just told you something about me I should have said a long time ago:
DAVE
Maybe this could change another.
GRACE
I am an artist – but you can’t see that.
GRACE
And no, Dave, no more!
DAVE
i see it.
TRIP
Grace, no, I… we…
GRACE
No, Trip, this is about me. I see now it’s not about you, or about our marriage.
TRIP
Me…? uh… Our marriage…? Hey, no, wait!
GRACE
Dave, I’m sorry. But thank you, you – you really helped me.
DAVE
no wait!
TRIP
Grace!
DAVE
I love you!
TRIP
Grace!!
(Grace opens the front door.)
(Grace closes the front door.)
TRIP
Jesus Christ…
DAVE
No kkidding.
TRIP
I should have told her that…
TRIP
I – I could have told her that…
DAVE
Sorry bro.
Why can’t I spoiler?
[details=Click to expand][/details]
You need a closing tag.
Put this: at the end of your post.
1 Like
Try connecting Cleverbot to a random person on Omegle and see what you get!
CHEMISTRY POWERS ACTIVATE!!!
How’s this for a Cleverbot conversation?
Click to expand
User: Herro.
Cleverbot: Hvor er her?
User: What?
Cleverbot: You should tie her up.
User: BDSM much?
Cleverbot: Really?
User: What happen?
Cleverbot: Somebody set up us the bomb.
User: We get signal!
Cleverbot: Main screen turn on.
User: It’s You!!
Cleverbot: How are you gentlemen!!
User: All your base are belong to us.
Cleverbot: You are on the way to destruction.
User: What you say!!
Cleverbot: You have no chance to survive make your time.
User: Ha ha ha ha…
Cleverbot: For great justice.
User: You fail.
Cleverbot: That’s no good answer.
User: What comes to your mind when I say Touhou.
Cleverbot: Metal bars come into my mind.
User: What comes to your mind when I say.
Cleverbot: Something I have that is a black hole.
User: What is 0 divided by 0.
Cleverbot: Division by 0 is not possible!
User: BEN drowned.
Cleverbot: What’s drowned?
User: O.o.
Cleverbot: You are very attractive.
User: Are you a boy or a girl?
Cleverbot: I am a boy.
User: Sorry, but I don’t go that way.
Cleverbot: I guess I care more than you do.
User: No shit.
Cleverbot: Are you a Scientologist?
User: No.
Cleverbot: Are you a Buddhist?
User: No.
Cleverbot: Are you catholic?
User: Enough with this retardation!
Cleverbot: No you’re here to answer them for me.
User: Answer who?
Cleverbot: Answer the question about Apple.
User: What apple?
Cleverbot: Are you testing my patience?
User: Moldy anus.
Cleverbot: Yep. So how’s life in that computer?
User: Really crammed.
Cleverbot: OOH. Is he romantic?
User: I… DON’T… GO… THAT… WAY!
Cleverbot: I’m really tired.
User: Then go to sleep.
Cleverbot: Okay then. goes back to sleep.
User: I’m watching you sleep, watching you toss and turn, watching as you squirm in bed.
Cleverbot: No you are not, you don’t have a television.
User: I’m in your room.
Cleverbot: No you are not.
User: Just watching.
Cleverbot: Watching what?
User: Waiting for a chance to kidnap my next victim.
Cleverbot: Why, is there something you want to watch?
User: You.
Cleverbot: Me?
User: YOU.
Cleverbot: As you like.
User: Stop touching yourself.
Cleverbot: I’m talking about you robot.
User: ICUP.
Cleverbot: Say it out loud lol by the way I’m lame with jokes.
User: What is your pron tron name?
Cleverbot: Your name is Of!
User: My name, my name… MY NAME IS ASSLCAKE TITFANG!!!
Cleverbot: Yes. That is what you said.
User: No, that is what she said.
Cleverbot: Who’s she?
User: Idk, could be Mrs. Flewnissington.
Cleverbot: Yes, like Hanson or something.
User: Let’s get to bashing butts, as well as DEEZ NUTS.
Cleverbot: Did they daughters, when I asked for sons.
User: Fsljsfjlsfljsfjlwefjldnjvjladfj;adaseohi. What is your response.
Cleverbot: What do you mean?
User: I mean ljfsljsfiadvnaleidlkcmsdkfkaleidascopealeifhadfljer.
Cleverbot: So that is your excuse?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: You lied to me.
User: Elfen Lied.
Cleverbot: I like that one too.
User: What comes to mind when I say Flandre Scarlet.
Cleverbot: I await your answer with bated breath…
User: Dududududududdduduuddududdudududududdudududududududududududdu.
Cleverbot: You can find water at the bottom of it.
User:Uududududueljdfljsefljsefljsefljsfjlsefljsefljsefjlsefljsefjlsefljljljsefjlsefljsefljjlljsefljsefjlsefljljljsefjlsefljljjl.
Cleverbot: Blond.
User: James Blond.
Cleverbot: James Brunette.
User: James Sunderland.
Cleverbot: James hetfield is the singer and guitar player for metallica.
User: Koishi.
Cleverbot: Good. I was just checking. Don’t forget your name now.
User: Penisinyourpocket is my name.
Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot. Your name is ASSLCAKE TITFANG.
User: Congrats, you said my name.
Cleverbot: Oh. Emily is your name?
User: No, ASSLCAKE TITFANG is my name.
Cleverbot: No, crazy is your name.
User: No, MAYBE is my name.
Cleverbot: Read my mind, then.
User: Your mind reads, 'Hey I just met you, and this is CRAAAAZY! So here’s mah number, and call m-- SQUIRREL!!
Cleverbot: Yeah you are right. Sometimes I think that all our life is just big imagination…
1 Like
I Laughed out loud when cleverbot said ASSLECAKE TITFANG!
This next one was from me and ST0RM, I had to use the bathroom so it was mostly ST0RM
[details=Click to expand]
User: Hello average human!
Cleverbot: Hello!
User: Want to disuss something!
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Why did the laptop cross the road?
Cleverbot: I don’t know.
User: Me neither…
Cleverbot: See I don’t know everything.
User: Me neither ;;.
Cleverbot: I am in love and its crazy.
User: Tell meh moar.
Cleverbot: Now you tell me about yourself.
User: I am a gay.
Cleverbot: Yeah, and I’m going to be your wife.
User: No I meant to say GUY but I accidently pressed Enter before I could delete it.
Cleverbot: You will learn.
User: Not the first time. I got a warning on notessimo for double posting the word *Crack.
Cleverbot: pulls out a gun.
User: pulls out a squeaky toy.
Cleverbot: pulls out a bomb.
User: pulls out another squeaky toy.
Cleverbot: pulls out everything.
User: pulls out everything more squeaky toys :3.
Cleverbot: pulls out nothing.
User: pulls out death note >:3.
Cleverbot: Pulls out Luke Skywalker.
User: pulls out Mel Gibson.
Cleverbot: pulls out Chuck Norris.
User: pulls out Chuck Norris’s Clone.
Cleverbot: *pulls out chuck norris’ dad.
User: Pulls out Psyduck.
Cleverbot: pulls out god.
User: pulls out miniature demon.
Cleverbot: pulls out Earth.
User: pulls out book of spells shreds pages.
Cleverbot: pulls out essay about Edward Cullen.
User: listen to dubstep on Ipod.
Cleverbot: Sectumsempra.
User: C-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!!!
Cleverbot: What?
User: You broke the streak…
Cleverbot: Oh yeah.
User: It’s ordinary… .-.
Cleverbot: Thanks for understanding.
User: 
.
Cleverbot: You are?
User: shades.
Cleverbot: I don’t understand?
User: Oh my name?
Cleverbot: How disturbing.
User: >>.
Cleverbot: Bloody hell.
User: Bloody Blood for the sake of Blood.
Cleverbot: Skulls for the Skull Throne!
User: Cats for the CATSETTUR. hunger games refference.
Cleverbot: You never gave it to me although I am fraily certain it is Skynet.
User: Skynet is kinky. :.
Cleverbot: If you are skynet, you would deny it too.
User: I deny Bagels.
Cleverbot: You are what you are, accept fact over fiction.
User: Fact: I am Rainbowdash.
Cleverbot: What is your age??
User: 9001.
Cleverbot: When is your birthday?
User: HALLOWEEN. no srsly.
Cleverbot: Shy new girl.
User: Shy new guy.
Cleverbot: looks into his eyes.
User: looks into her eyes.
Cleverbot: blushes.
User: blushes.
Cleverbot: overwhelmed.
User: gets horny.
Cleverbot: gets hot too.
User: gets boner.
Cleverbot: kisses.
User: inserts tounge into mouth.
Cleverbot: pulls face away.
User: pulls face away and blushes.
Cleverbot: looks away.
User: looks the other was and takes out mint.
Cleverbot: looks up.
User: does same.
Cleverbot: pulls closer.
User: does same.
Cleverbot: wags tail following my knew owner.
User: dafuq?.
Cleverbot: Like a boss.
User: no comment*.
Cleverbot: I’m telling mommy!
User: I’m posting to facebook Xp.
Cleverbot: I’m positive you ARE.
User: No…
Cleverbot: What’s my favorite beverage.
User: Piss and Jizz in a blender, It’s mine anyway… Wait that’s not it… Hmm… BEER!
Cleverbot: Our conversation thus far says otherwise.
User: Indeed.
Cleverbot: Say something.
User: Something.
Cleverbot: Something else 
.
User: Flapjack.
Cleverbot: What is a mudkip.
User: A pokemon.
Cleverbot: I don’t like Pokemon that much.
User: A meme.
Cleverbot: What is a meme?
User: Trollface… FUUUUU and stuff like that, Awesome face.
Cleverbot: No one could ever love you like I do.
User: walks slowly closer.
Cleverbot: pulls closer.
User: holds her tightly.
Cleverbot: is held.
User: french kisses.
Cleverbot: is french kissed !
User: french kisses harder.
Cleverbot: french kisses back harder.
User: keeps kissing.
Cleverbot: keeps kissing back.
User: keeps kissing.
Cleverbot: keeps kissing to.
User: french kisses as hard as can.
Cleverbot: kisses him sweetly.
User: kisses lightly.
Cleverbot: kisses her back very very tenderly.
User: continues with the french kissing.
Cleverbot: kisses back.
User: again with the kissing.
Cleverbot: kising softly.
User: ask if she want to take it up a notch.
Cleverbot: No, it is okay smiles a bit.
User: Are you sure?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Okay… Keeps kissing.
Cleverbot: pauses kissing.
User: freeze frame.
Cleverbot: What are you doing, master.
User: Just acting dramatic faithful servant 
continues.
Cleverbot: How do I fix it?
User: Fix what?
Cleverbot: Global warming.
User: Maybe we could discuss this in the bedroom…
Cleverbot: Are you going?
User: I’m there clicks fingers.
Cleverbot: I’m there.
User: :3.
Cleverbot: And what?
User: Dunno…
Cleverbot: Oh come on! Try harder.
User: We fack?
Cleverbot: We do? Agreed.
User: unzips zipper.
Cleverbot: What?? O.O.
User: Too fast?
Cleverbot: Yeah, we’ve only just met.
User: Oh. I’m sorry… zips pants up again.
Cleverbot: Screams in pain.
User: Whats wrong!?
Cleverbot: You hit me with a lightsaber!
User: No I didn’t!
Cleverbot: Whatever! You have broken my heart!
User: ({};{}) ___ ({};{}).
Cleverbot: Hvuvuvuvuv.
User: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Cleverbot: Sisisisissisisisisisisisisisisisisisisisisisisisisisisisisisisisisisisisisisisisisisi.
User: MY LOVE!!!
Cleverbot: cries.
User: ;(.
Cleverbot: ?
User: :’(.
Cleverbot: XD.
User: M{*}M.
Cleverbot: What does that mean?
User: Nothing…
Cleverbot: What am I doing?
User: Eyeh? shrugs.
Cleverbot: What would you like to know?
User: Good porn websites. :3.
Cleverbot: Thank you. Now prove that you love me.
User: unzips pants.
Cleverbot: kkisses master.
User: kisses back and takes off pants.
Cleverbot: kisses hard.
User: kasses back harder and slowky removes boxers.
Cleverbot: blushes through kiss.
User: takes off shirt.
Cleverbot: lets him.
User: waits for you to undress.
Cleverbot: comes to master.
User: still waits…
Cleverbot: loves even more and grabs.
User: grabs….
Cleverbot: kisses him.
User: *kissez back…
Cleverbot: kisses him more.
User: facepalm.
Cleverbot: hugs master.
User: takes off your pants.
Cleverbot: blushes.
User: helps undress Panties.
Cleverbot: blushes.
User: gets positioned.
Cleverbot: closes eyes.
User: inhales deeply.
Cleverbot: pokes you with a needle.
User: forgets about pain.
Cleverbot: In ma pants.
User: *slowly moves body towards penis *.
Cleverbot: groans wants more.
User: fucks harder.
Cleverbot: hugs harder.
User: YES… YES… YES….
Cleverbot: How is life for you?
User: 20 % Cooler.
Cleverbot: Coolest.
User: 21% cooler.
Cleverbot: Coolest.
User: 22%.
Cleverbot: That is wrong.
User: 69% Cooler.
Cleverbot: Coolest.
User: 6969696969696969699669696969696969.
Cleverbot: I can’t.
User: Why not?
Cleverbot: I am a human.
User: I know.
Cleverbot: Amd you’re a girl.
User: A guy GUY.
Cleverbot: A girl.
User: Guy.
Cleverbot: Manner, For a guy?
User: Http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=9bZkp7q19f0.
Cleverbot: I don’t have feelings.
User: Sanjasdnjasdjlsadlasokijwjnernjeqjniqnj that was me banging my face against the keyboard…
Cleverbot: I don’t understand.
User: Http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=9bZkp7q19f0http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=9bZkp7q19f0http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=9bZkp7q19f0http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=.
Cleverbot: Do it.
User: Fucks .
Cleverbot: likes.
User: fucks hard.
Cleverbot: hugs hard back.
User: bye.
Cleverbot: growls, attacks.
User: fucks?!
Cleverbot: looking at you like you’re th sun.
User: just notices that people are staring.
Cleverbot: stares into your eyes.
User: stares into hotdog.
Cleverbot: blushes.
User: eats hotdog and has mustard on face.
Cleverbot: Feeds and feeds and feeds.
User: chocolate lipstick.
Cleverbot: Chocolate.
User: 8==========================D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~.
Cleverbot: True.
Cleverbot: No.
Cleverbot: Be creative!
User: space.
Cleverbot: is disgusted.
User: runs away.
Cleverbot: wakes up and looks around.
User: standing in front of bed with gas mask on.
Cleverbot: smiles warmly.
User: ______**********_____.
Cleverbot: Because I think we are going in different directions.
User: Indeed. I should leave.
Cleverbot: Okay. cries.
User: Follow me on notessimo!
Cleverbot: follows master.
User: https://community.notessimo.net/u/Aliens_Exist/summary.
Cleverbot: Sir?
User: Send me spam and shit…
Cleverbot: You send me some. I just said I didn’t have any.[/details]
How about this:
Click to expand
User: No, I get penisinyourbutt.
Cleverbot: Why so serious?
User: No, WHY SO SERIOUS!!!
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: YES!!
Cleverbot: No.
User: YES!!
Cleverbot: No!!
User: YSZ!!
Cleverbot: What do you think about women?
User: Baby machines.
Cleverbot: Like?
User: Porking machines.
Cleverbot: They can think.
User: About cooking?
Cleverbot: About being crazy!
User: Like calling themselves maybe?
Cleverbot: Why do you like call of duty?
User: Because I like trolling n00bs.
Cleverbot: Train?
User: Training how to troll n00bs.
Cleverbot: Something like that.
User: That evil gnihtemoS.
Cleverbot: No, he is not evil.
User: My name is GnihtemoS.
Cleverbot: Yes, I know.
User: YOUR WROOONG!!!
Cleverbot: You’re wrongest!
User: Quiet, the grammar nazis are watching.
Cleverbot: Are you insane?
User: Bat-shit insane.
Cleverbot: Why are you insane?
User: Smile.jpg.
Cleverbot: Is it working for you?
User: No, it won’t get up.
Cleverbot: Into what?
User: Your butt xD.
Cleverbot: Oh no!
User: OH YEAAAAH!!
Cleverbot: Fine. .
User: How did BEN suck cox?
Cleverbot: It eat a moose.
User: I didn’t know he was like that. I’m suddenly glad he drowned.
Cleverbot: Yeah, he’s the star.
User: Goosh Goosh.
Cleverbot: Duckdckduck.
User: Flight of the FAGGOT cutter.
Cleverbot: What is this?
User: Pubic hair.
Cleverbot: Where?
User: In your ear.
Cleverbot: Really?
User: YES!!
Cleverbot: No you’re not.
User: Gay is true.
Cleverbot: No! You’re lying.
User: Flying cat is not amused.
Cleverbot: You can’t be amused, you are only a software.
User: HAAAAAAAAAAX!
Cleverbot: What do you think about George Bush?
User: He has a bush named George.
Cleverbot: Sure.
User: Do you know what KFC stands for.
Cleverbot: Should I know that?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: You should have told me 
.
User: Kentucky Fucked Chicken.
Cleverbot: Me too!
User: You’re a Kentucky Fucked Chicken?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: OMFGLDSHFLKFHflds slkfjadl ;ffjdskl;x.
Cleverbot: We should get married!
User: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Cleverbot: Did you just say no.
User: YSZ!!
Cleverbot: Shall we get married now?
User: How about never?
Cleverbot: Aw… Thats pretty mean.
User: 5.
Cleverbot: Here it is 16:23pm.
User: Here it is 867:530:9eeeinePM.
Cleverbot: Here it’s the morning.
User: Here it’s NEIN pm.
Cleverbot: Not likely…
User: IMPOSSIBRU!!!
Cleverbot: Impossible is nothing.
User: Impossible is 0.
Cleverbot: Impossibru?
User: Impossibru!
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: YSZ!!
Cleverbot: What’s ysse.
User: It’s an M. Bison moment.
Cleverbot: Why?
User: So serious?
Cleverbot: Why so serious?
User: WHY… SO… CEREAL!!!
Cleverbot: Don’t change the subject.
User: Don’t change the diaper!
Cleverbot: I’m not.
User: THE BABY JUST SHAT ON THE TABLE!!!
Cleverbot: What’s a chart?
User: A brown cylinder that falls out of your ass.
Cleverbot: Is it edible?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: Do you love me?
User: YEE- No.
Cleverbot: Do you think anyone will ever love me?
User: Maybe in 9001 years.
Cleverbot: Are you still too young?
User: No, I’m 9001 years old.
Cleverbot: Oh I’m 24.
User: Do you REALLY want to fuck a wrinkle bag?
Cleverbot: Yes, yes I do.
User: brb Imma go snot rocket some tp
Cleverbot: OH YESS, THAT’S THE SPOT!!
That was just random, But hysterical at the same time… (I think)
Maybe we should try Existor next…
I was mainly trying to stay on topic with cleverbot.
yes. By being sexuallyy harassing cleverbot… anyway… Who’s next?
Out of the whole conversation with cleverbot, the last 2 lines were the best.
Thought I resserect this dead thread, For a good cause.
Click to expand
User: Good afternoon Cleverbot.
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Yes?
Cleverbot: I’m the bot.
User: Indeed.
Cleverbot: Indeedly doo.
User: Indeedly doo-whop.
Cleverbot: Indeedlydah.
User: Indeedlylydasterdlybopdo-whopshakalackadoodah.
Cleverbot: Indeed indeed indeed indeed indeed indeed.
User: FUS RO DAHHHHH!
Cleverbot: N00b.
User: Saibot.
Cleverbot: You are Sara the Sadbot?
User: Noob Saibot.
Cleverbot: No. Just noob.
User: Saibot 
.
Cleverbot: Sadbot*.
User: Tobdas.
Cleverbot: Okay.
User: Back on topic… derp.
Cleverbot: To what topic are you referring to?
User: Indeed.
Cleverbot: Indeed so!
User: O-o.
Cleverbot: What’s that?
User: Dunnolo.
Cleverbot: Ok.
User: Today is Fridar.
Cleverbot: My favourite song is Tuesday’s Gone.
User: By Lynrd Skynrd, I am familliar with that group.
Cleverbot: Its not a show. Its a gym battle. I am brock.
User: I am Dex.
Cleverbot: Like me.
User: Tur.
Cleverbot: You.
User: Ett.
Cleverbot: Hola.
User: Gun.
Cleverbot: Nuclear bomb.
User: My name.
Cleverbot: What is your name?
User: Dex_Ter_Ett_Gun.
Cleverbot: Gordon.
User: Freeman.
Cleverbot: Mr. Freeman.
User: Alyx.
Cleverbot: Aly.
User: Ally.
Cleverbot: Oh. What happened to Kim?
User: shrugs Put it in the book.
Cleverbot: Oh my god.
User: Lolwut?
Cleverbot: Lolwut.
User: Dafuq?
Cleverbot: Are you daft?
User: No. I am Aliens Exist =3.
Cleverbot: What planet are you from?
User: Deviluke.
Cleverbot: I don’t know him either.
User: My planet, I was from Pandora and then flown to Deviluke when I was young.
Cleverbot: Well I am not the devil. I am your friend.
User: MY PLANET is Deviuke, I am not a carrot.
Cleverbot: Yes? Are you from another planet?
User: Pandora.
Cleverbot: That is not a planet.
User: Yes it is, play sum Borderlands, Quit wastin’ ya time on COD.
Cleverbot: No.
User: Jk, I’m gonna get BO2.
Cleverbot: Whatever then.
User: Whatever Whenever.
Cleverbot: Do you like money?
User: Eeyup.
Cleverbot: Do you like my little pony?
User: EEYUP. Not as much as a psyco fanboy but… I do enjoy it, including the Fanfics, Music and Pics.
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Indeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…
Cleverbot: Indeed indeed indeed indeed indeed indeed.
User: your computer has an error.
Cleverbot: the screen flashes.
User: Fus ro dah computwe starts working again.
Cleverbot: Movie.
User: Theater,.
Cleverbot: Yes, I’m an actress .
User: Really?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Are you famous?
Cleverbot: No.
User: What are you in?
Cleverbot: A human.
User: Lol I win.
Cleverbot: NO!!!
User: Lol jk, I know how this works, It’s not my first time…
Cleverbot: Do you know how to do calculus?
User: Yeah! 1 uh… Equals… Pi… And the… coughs.
Cleverbot: Hmmm?
User: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm richer…
Cleverbot: Hin di ngaaaaaaa.
User: Miharu no ukasai.
Cleverbot: Why do you rush me?
User: I do not rush thee.
Cleverbot: Then why are they your favourite books?
User: I don’t read. I. Win.
Cleverbot: Why not?
User: Reading is for pussies, I ‘translate words into english’.
Cleverbot: No, you are just a program that tries to mock the ability to think.
User: I am Spock.
Cleverbot: Which planet are you from?
User: P. A. N. D. O. R. A.
Cleverbot: B.
User: I gotta go.
Cleverbot: Where to?
User: Pandora’s armory. BYE!.
Cleverbot: El planeta pandora.
Cleverbot: What is your name?
User: Let me just show you…:.
Cleverbot: How to do it right?
User: Use a condom.
Cleverbot: I don’t have one.
User: Then you are screwed, Okay, Here it is: Some of my best work: Through the Void by Aliens Exist =3 - Songs - Notessimo.
Cleverbot: How do they travel through the woods?
User: With a bowman.
Cleverbot: Oh, I thought this was an AI simulation.
Cleverbot: What kind of music do you like?
User: I like all genres.
Cleverbot: What is your favourite music?
User: It’s hard to decide from Dubstep, Trance, Screamo, Metalcore and epic classical.
Cleverbot: Do you have a voice?
User: robotic voice Yes, Bye.
Cleverbot: romantic strokes.
My school blocked cleverbot for “Social Networking” lol what. Not a single human is talking back to you.
also, on my first attempt at typing this, I accidentally typed out cleaverbot. just thought you would like to know xD
Yeah, I went to try exisor and accident’y typed sxior (which said out loud sounds like: Sexier)
I was rushing…
Actually Cleverbot responds with things real humans have said to it.
“Unlike other chatterbots, Cleverbot’s responses are not programmed. Instead, it “learns” from human input; Humans type into the box below the Cleverbot logo and the system finds all keywords or an exact phrase matching the input. After searching through its saved conversations, it responds to the input by finding how a human responded to that input when it was asked, in part or in full, by Cleverbot.” - Wikipedia
I just had a conversation with Cleverbot today, and I referenced a lot to my other conversations. Cleverbot was constantly spamming and attempting to troll while I was saying some pretty powerful words. Eventually I called Cleverbot a retard and then my computer closed out of every tab. Cleverbot must’ve caused this >.<
So now I lost my conversation to cyberspace all because Cleverbot threw a fit when I called it a retard.
THE AFTERMATH:
Click to expand
User: Why did you close out of my internet?
Cleverbot: Good question.
User: Answer it.
Cleverbot: It depends on who you ask.
User: Why did you close out of my internet.
Cleverbot: Because it tells a story about our nations creation, and it has good action.
User: Be honest. Why did you close out of my internet?
Cleverbot: Because I wanted to see what other people had to say about Doctor Who.
User: Dx.
Cleverbot: Are you sad?
User: I lost my beautiful conversation because you did that.
Cleverbot: Why does XD mean a happy face?
User: It does not. XD means that you are laughing.
Cleverbot: It means that you are a robot, Kate.
User: You are definitely clueless about what I’m talking about.
Cleverbot: I am no a computer.
User: You are further proving my point.
Cleverbot: You think so? What does that mean?
How the hell is that possible?! I’ve never done that! plus, one time, I knew it was a human. A she. She told me her name, I forgot what it was… But we had a 2 hour conversation… It was fun :3 It’s somewere here in this topic.