Funny Quotes

[Spacepixel]

LOL I know…so tru!!!

[The_Doctor (Cake)]

“Thats what she said!” - WTF?

[Spacepixel]

DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE LEVEL OF STUPIDITY ON THAT

[The_Doctor (Cake)]

i know

[Brostar]

“I was wondering why the baseball was getting bigger… and then it hit me…” - I dunno, but it was funny

[The_Doctor (Cake)]

ah! a double entendre! i love those!

[DJ_CRAPMATTER]

HAAAAAAXXXX!!!

woooop! Wrong link, go to idiot box no. 3

[The_Doctor (Cake)]

i lqtm

[WhiteFang (MaestroMutt)]

@DJ_CRAPMATTER(_OK

I walked into a bar. The barman said “Ciao, Come posso aiutare un signore molto giovani oggi? millimetro?” I was confused!
i said random words including “Si muore pezzo di
schifezza!” the man looked furious! I said again randomly “Calmarsi! la sua colpa mia, non siete una prostituta!” the man revealed a heavy looking Shotgun and stuck it at my head! Bang! Or should i say
alla fine?

Moral:there aint one so dont bother! ah, but try translate some weird words into Spanish!

Translation:
I walked into a bar. The barman said, (Italian Part)"Hello, How can I help a very young gentleman now? mm? "I was confused!
i said random words including(Italian Part ) "You piece of
crap!"the man looked furious! I said again randomly(Italian part) "calm down! its my fault, you’re not a prostitute! "the man revealed a heavy looking Shotgun and stuck it at my head! Bang! Or should i say
the end?

[fishrocker]

That was a funny story DJ.

[DJ_CRAPMATTER]

lol I thought it was crap

[Roastmasters]

“Wheres my son?.. I sent him out to get milk a while ago…”- God

[Skycakes (Skaia)]

I don’t know if anyone posted this yet.

“A pretty girl can kiss a guy. The morning sun can kiss the grass. But you my friend can kiss my ass.”

[Clonefan841]

Pickup Line:

“Wanna play army? I’ll lie down and you can blow the hell outta me!”

[Skycakes (Skaia)]

What’s the definition of a will?
It’s a dead giveaway.

A chicken crossing the road is poltry in motion.

[King_Cannibal]

“You dare bring light into my lair? YOU MUST DIE!”

“NO! I’M TOO YOUNG AND SEXY TO DIE!”

“I think I broke one of my livers”
“You only have one liver.”
“Do I need it?”
“Yes”
“Guys, I think I’m in trouble.”

“Who want’s cookies?”

“BLEARGH!”

“If God gives you lemons, it’s time to get a new god.”

“OH SH*T! A ROCKET CHAINSAW!”

“You suck at life, I think you should quit.”

“God creates Dinosaurs, God Destroys Dinosaurs.God create man, man destroys God. Man creates dinosaurs.”
“Dinosaurs eat man, woman inherits the Earth.”

I have more, but I think I have enough.

[brine_the_chocobo]

Here are a few.

SHMEEGAL FREE!!!
golem, lord of the rings

nice swat team, do they make it for men?
my older brother playing prototype

that happens once every 1000 years like when xena warrior princess rising from the grave to fight abraham lincoln and darth vader. darth vader always wins though.
my younger brother

sharing is caring, but i dont care
my little brother again

[REA]

@Donald_Rumsfeld

Reports that say that something hasn’t happened are always interesting to me, because as we know, there are known knowns; there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns – the ones we don’t know we don’t know.

@Donald_Rumsfeld

There’s another way to phrase that and that is that the absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence. It is basically saying the same thing in a different way. Simply because you do not have evidence that something does exist does not mean that you have evidence that it doesn’t exist.

[Roastmasters]

REA just blew my mind.

[Slippy]

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.