Jokes!

Post some good jokes here! This is the one-stop area for jokes(LOL!).

My Jokes:
Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Juneau.
Juneau who?
Yup, I do!

Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Bee.
Bee who?
Bee quiet!

Oven: Beep beep beep beep beep beep…
Kid: Stop swearing!(LOL!!!)

Ok, I’m gonna be honest…those weren’t too funny.
Give me a couple minutes…or days, and I’ll post some funny ones 8-)
Some may be racist, so if I offend anyone, I apologize in advance.

Racist Joke Alert 8-)

What do you get when you cross a mute and a black freind of yours?

A peaceful trip to the movies

Disgusting Joke: What is red, bubbly, and spins around?
A baby in the microwave

1 Like

Ok, took me a while to come up with some…but i think I have a couple.

(Couple gross ones just to warn you!)

What’s the difference between a trampoline and a baby?
I take my shoes off to jump on a trampoline.

What’s more fun than strapping a baby onto a clothes-line and spinning it at 100 mph?
Stopping it with a shovel.

Alright, that’s all I have for now…more to come

nice ones ddpacker.

There are three kinds of people. Those that can count, and those that can’t.

There are two ways to bomb a country, one of which can get you famous, the other requires a bomb. (Nobody’s gonna gets it…)

Recipe: Your Birthday Cake
1 Egg
2cups Milk
3cups Flour
1cup Vanilla Extract
1cup Chocolate Powder
3lbs Real Human Organs

I liked that first joke, it made me laugh.

That second one…you lost me.

Stupid joke :

A black man was driving alongside a road at 1 mph and the speed maximum was 25 mph. A half hour later, a white man pulled up alongside him and he said: Anything wrong?

The black man said: No, I’m just waiting for this snail to speed up so I can pass him when the line is dotted.

The white man said: Why wait behind it when you can run over it?

Black man said: Conserve nature, man!

what do you call a chinese aeroplane pilot?
waits for response
an aeroplane pilot, you racist!

Man those are the funniest jokes ive ever heard.

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear
Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair
well
Fuzzy wuzzy wasn’t very Fuzzy Wuzzy

Ewy Guwwy was a worm
a mighty worm was he
up appon a railroad track
a train he did not see
Ewy Guwwy

A Blonde, a Brunett, and a red head walk into a bar and get Drunk.
The Brunett asks the Bartender to call a cab. and he does.
The Red Head calls he friend to pick her up. and she does.
The Blonde asked the Drunk Trucker next to her if she could get a ride home. and she does.
But 9 months later, WHO had a baby?

lol the last one i just thought off the top of my head so it might not be that funny.

WAts diference between a baby and a porsche

i dont hav a porsche in my driveway

Difference between baby and a convertable

i dont have a conertable buried under my backyard

Difference between frog and baby

I didnt disect babies in high school

Tons more in my head wll post l8r

it might not be that… the first two weren’t funny in the first place

put your money where your mouth is!
if you can come up with anything better then mine ill give you Kudos for it.

Ok then how’s this…

There are 10 types of people…
Those who understand binary…
And those who don’t.

A pro juggler driving to his next performance is stopped by the police
The cop sais: What are you doing with these matches and lighting fluid in your car?
The juggler replies: I’m a juggler and i juggle flaming torches in my act
The cop: oh yeah? lets see you do it.
So the juggler gets out and performs his act perfectly
A couple driving by slows down to watch. Wow. sais the driver to his wife
‘’ im glad i stopped drinking, look at the tests they are giving now !’’

And some ehh, brain breakers? no teasers? ah well

Can you cry under water?
Who decided that a round pizza should be put in a square box?
Why are actors IN movies but ON television?
Why do we pay to get to the top of tall buildings, then pay to use binoculars to look at things on the ground?
If a deaf person goes to court, do they call it a hearing?

Here are a few jokes for you.

How do you get a giraffe into a Refrigerator?

you open the door, put the giraffe in, close the door.

How do you get a rhyno into a Refrigerator?

You open the door, take the giraffe out, put the rhyno in, close the door.

The Lion calls for a animal meeting, who doesn’t show up?

The rhyno because he is in the Refrigerator.

You are trying to cross a river filled with man eating crocodiles, How do you cross?

You just walk across. All the animals are at the animal meeting.

see its not what you know, just what you remember from before.

Hah, that’s pretty funny CC.
I have a few too, and a quote.

If you have a cough, and it’s annoying the hell out of you, take a bunch of exlax. The next morning, you’ll be afriad to cough.

51% of marriages end in divorce… that’s because 51% of men come to their senses.

Note: Racist jokes ahead! Highlight the hidden text to read them. If they will/might offend you, don’t blame me if you read them.

Me: Did you hear about the black man that went to collage?
You: No
Me: Exactaly

Me: Have you ever seen any black people on The Jetsons?
You: Uh… no
Me: I know, looks like a good future eh?

Q: What’s the difference between a dead dog on the road and a dead black man on the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog

Q: Why don’t blacks celebrate Thanksgiving?
A: KFC isn’t open on holidays.

Q: What do you call one white man surrounded by 10000 blacks?
A: A prison warden.

That’s it. There’s plenty more, but that’s all I feel like putting up right now.

Doctor: I’m so sorry,
Man: About what?
Doctor: Your wife, is, dead
Man: My wife is dead?
Doctor: I’m really sorry.
Man: Don’t be, I have loads of spares!


© 2007-2021 Jean-Denis Boivin