8?
#goodvideo
2 Likes
my life
1 Like
#catchysong
#goodmusic
Hufflepuff Joke of the Week
Why do we make fun of Hufflepuffs?
Is it because they are the most useless bunch of dweebs ever to grace the world of wizardry? Is it because it's easy?
It's a little bit of both. Enjoy!
Click to expand
I am a Slytherin so i agree with Draco & the Malfoys about it.
A man walks up to a food stall with a snake around his neck.
food vendor: what can i get for you today?
man: My snake would like a hot dog, please
food vendor:I’m sorry, but we’re out of buns.
man:oh
food vendor: would he just like the hot dog?
man: My anaconda don’t want none unless you got buns, hun!
I think this joke is better without the last two lines.
2 Likes
Man: There is a giant kangaroo on my head!
Woman: Really?
Man: Yes, really. GET IT OFF!!! GET IT OFF!!!
Man: April Fools!!!
Click to expand
I hate April Fools though.
1 Like
Doctor: No, I mean. Your wife is your dad.
Man: What?.. wait, how did you know that?
Doctor: Because I’m your mom, you reprobate son!
Blonde Joke:
A blonde walks into a store and asks if she can buy a TV.
The cashier says “Sorry, we don’t sell to blondes.”
She walks out of the store and comes back red haired and asks if she can buy a TV.
The cashier says “Sorry, we don’t sell to blondes.”
She walks out of the store and comes back black haired and asks if she can buy a TV.
The cashier says “Sorry, we don’t sell to blondes.”
She walks out of the store and comes back brown haired and asks if she can buy a TV.
The cashier says “Sorry, we don’t sell to blondes.”
The blonde asks “How do you know it is always me?”
The cashier replies “We only sell microwaves.”
1 Like
I’m going to finish every unfinished song of mine starting right now.
7 Likes
Hello, and Welcome to the Mental Health Hotline:
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are depressive, it doesn’t matter which number you press - no one will answer you.
If you are dyslexic, press 981759812.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until the beep after the beep please wait for the beep.
If you have low self esteem, hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you.
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, credit card number and you grandmother’s maiden name.
If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 911
If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep, or before the beep. Actually, after the beep. Or before the beep.
If you have short term memory loss, press 9
If you have short term memory loss, press 9
If you have short term memory loss, press 9
If you have short term memory loss, press 9
4 Likes
lol some of those could actually be very offensive, but those are pretty funny!
So theres these two sisters, named Lee and Ling. Lee really doesn’t like her name, and wants to change it to Ving. However, her dad picked the name Lee for her because of a friend he has and doesn’t want her to change her name. So one day, Lee and Ling sneak out of the house after school and head to the city hall to change Lee’s name. Lee has just officially gotten her name changed and Ling is handing over the money they had to pay when her dad bursts into the room yelling:
“Dont! Stop! Be Lee, Ving! Hold on to that fee, Ling!”
4 Likes
Someone needs to make this with Never Gonna Give You Up.
How many babies does it take to paint a house red?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
Charming!
What is #2’s favorite book?
The Diarrhea of Anne Frank
If a cyclops closes it’s eye, is it winking or blinking?
Haha ggfchl… did you make those up?
the first one, yes. the second one… a friend of mine did.