9r4N7ED; Ur p00NY N00b Br41N k4N’7 UnD3R574nD 0UR 8055 1337 74LK2.
I wish I could speak and write every language that man ever spoke or wrote.
granted, you’re too smart and everyone hates you.
I wish I had a guinea pig.
Granted, but it dies seconds after you take legal ownership of it.
I wish I could ascend to the god tier.
Granted, you’re in Verbist’s book! Congratulations!
I wish I could have a featured song
Granted; It’s on a website no one uses anymore.
I wish this wish would be corrupted.
Granted, .exe has stopped working.
I wish that I could get DmC for free.
Granted; You don’t have any idea what it is or how to use it, and you can’t google it either.
I wish I had a pony!
Granted, but it’s dead.
I wish Apple supported Flash.
1 Like
Granted; now it can’t access the internet.
I wish I had an undead pony!
Granted, it eats your brains out.
I wish people could stop using bad grammar.
Grntd, ur wesh acedntly bckfres nd naow evrybdee hz badd grammmer hw u mey assk? eyee duno, bt watevr, ur wesh iz grntd 
eyee wesh eyee hed swaggers
Granted; Now swag is out of style. Being geeky and uncool is in.
I wish I had a suit of armor that could shoot lasers out of it and fly!
Granted, but it doesn’t fit
I wish I had more likes than Tsukasa
Granted; They’re on Facebook, which, because of the imbalance, has imploded.
I wish that the cake wasn’t a lie.
Granted, the cake tastes like Sh*t
I wish there was a plot twist button
Granted; the twists never work in your favor.
I wish there was a hack button for life.
Granted, but upon pressing it, you send life and reality as we know it into nonexistence.
I wish I could create my own universe.
I said “universe”.
Granted, the world suddenly goes into armageddon within the span of 6 days.
I wish I could play Sburb.
Granted, but it crashes often.
I wish Aliens existed