Jokes!

Little Timmy was surprised when he put a feather on a scale. he shouted, “NO WEIGH!”

Titanic Jokes:

Passenger: Captain, Is the ship sinking?
Pause
Captain: No, Its doing a F***ing wheelie.

Has anyone else realized that the adidas logo looks like the titanic sinking?

Wal-Mart Joke:

Scientists have yet to explain how there can be 300 employees at a walmart store yet only 4 out of the 28 registers are open.

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what do you get when you cross a skillet and a Hispanic cartoon character?

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PANDORA

2 fish are in a tank, one turns to the other and says, How do you drive this thing?

OR

2 soldiers are in a tank, one turns to the other and says BLUBBHGBLUBGLUGHBULHGAHBULGHUBHU

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Imagining these happening in the “wrong” tanks is a lot funnier.

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I really did Laugh Out Loud!

I was gonna say That’s the joke, but then, I dont know. It’s like multiple levels of tanks, so i’m not sure what you mean any more.

What do you get when you cross a Paris Hilton, a boxing glove, and 1/3 of a triangle?

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A stupid punchline.

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I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.

Wolfe.
(try not to laugh too hard)

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a six offender.

Have you heard of the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil.

Teacher: “Anyone who thinks he’s stupid may stand up!”
Nobody stands up
Teacher: “Im sure there are some stupid students over here!!”
Little Johnny stands up
Teacher: “Ohh, Johnny you think you’re stupid?”
Little Johnny: “No… i just feel bad that you’re standing alone…”

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There are 10 kinds of people in the world. Those who know Hexadecimal, and F the rest.

What do you give a LEGO character with bad health?

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Plastic Surgery

3 drunk guys enterd a taxi. The taxi driver knew that they were drunk so he started the engine & turned it off again. Then said, “We have reached your destination”. The 1st guy gave him money & the 2nd guy said “Thank you”. The 3rd guy slapped the driver. The driver was shocked thinking the 3rd drunk knew what he did. But then he asked “What was that for?”. The 3rd guy replied, “Control your speed next time, you nearly killed us!”

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As they say: See a penny, pick it up, and all day long you’ll have a penny.

Three couples went in to see the minister to see how to become members of his church. The minister said that they would have to go without sex for two weeks and then come back and tell him how it went.
The first couple was retired, the second couple was middle-aged and the final couple was newlywed.
Two weeks went by, and the couples returned to the minister. The retired couple said it was no problem at all. The middle-aged couple said it was tough for the first week, but after that, it was no problem. The newlyweds said it was fine until she dropped the can of paint.
“Can of PAINT!” exclaimed the minister.
“Yeah,” said the newlywed man. “She dropped the can and when she bent over to pick it up I had to have her right there and then. Lust took over.”
The minister just shook his head and said that they were not welcome in the church.
“That’s okay,” said the man. “We’re not welcome in Home Depot either.”

WARNING: Pretty Racist

[details=Click to expand]I had a black joke, but someone stole it.
I had a hispanic joke, but it’s to poor.[/details]

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my friend told me this joke, but I’m not sure if it’s funny or not…

It’s black humor, so don’t say I didn’t warn you…

Why was it so easy for Hitler to kill all the jewish people?

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because they were jew slow

Bob: did you hear about the Apple store robbery yesterday?
Joe: YES!
Bob: I was an iWitness