K heres a joke but you have to think sick minded like me
Once, 3men went to saudi arabia, one day, they went into a hidden tent, filled with 200 beautiful women. After a few hours of gettin “Friendly” with the women, the chief of the tent got there and said "Theese woman are mine, noone can touch them execpt me.
You three men must pay for what you have done, I will punish you in a way correspoinding to your proffessions. HE went over to the first man
What do you do for a living, asked the chief
Im a Police, the first man replied
Then we’ll shoot yo penis off!!
Then, the chief walked over to the second guy
What do you do for a living,
The man answered, I’m a fireman
Then we’ll burn yo peniz off.
Then he walked over to the third guy
What about you? what do u do to earn yourself a living
Then the man had a slight grim in his face and responded.
“Im a lollipop salesman”
IF YOU DON"T GET IT
Think of it, what do you do to a lollipop
HAHAHAHAHA…HA…ha…ha…ha…
Funny 
ha ha ha indeed
A guy walks out of a bar and a woman sees him and says “Woah, you’re extremely drunk” and the man replies " And ur extremely ugly, and I’ll be sber in the morning"
I can’t stop laughing… 
Lol, that is quite funny now for one more laugh for good luck
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=on-0WqCB_9U
A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.
His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.”
The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”
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When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300°C.
The Russians used a pencil.
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Two guys are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, “I slept with your mother!” The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do. The first again yells, “I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!”
The other says, “Go home dad you’re drunk.”
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I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather.
Not screaming in terror like his passengers.
The first three didn’t make me laugh quite as much as the last one
Haha, same here. I was laughing so hard at it
first wasnt too funny but last was best!
What last one, The ski trip???
No, my last one. That’s why I put it last, I thought it was the funniest.
So my sister was at the kids larp event t’his weekend. one of the people there was a bunny named hipper hopper. he says to the kids “There’s bugs in my holes, you have to get them out.”
form the other side of the field, someone yells, “I’M PRETTY SURE THERE’S OINTMENT FOR THAT!!!”
A boy asks a girl he likes to his high school prom. She said yes. The the day of the prom he goes to his taylor and there is a REALLY REALLY long line for a suit. Later he remembers he needs to go to the flower shop to get a bouquet of flowers, there is a long line too. The line to get into the prom was just as long. Once insider the prom, the line to take a photo was also long. He gets thirsty. There is no punchline.
LOL!
Here’s one that my friend told me: “Why don’t you put a condom over your head, cuz if you’re gonna act like a dick, you might as well look like one.”
(Not really a joke, but still kinda funny)
Meh, joke or not… I lol’d
YOU’RE MAMA’S SO FAT…
When she sits around the house she sits AROUND the house.
I ran around her twice and got lost.
She uses a mattress as a maxi-pad.
Even Bill Gates couldn’t afford her liposuction.
When God said “let there be light” He told her to get her fat ass out of the way.
She plays hopscotch like this: California, Nevada, Utah, Colorado, Wyoming…
She wears two watches, one for each time zone.
She stepped on a scale and saw her phone number.
To have sex with her you have to slap her thigh and ride the wave in.
When she walks past the window we lose 4 days of sunlight.
She got in a monster truck and made it a low rider.
I saw her in a magazine on pages 4, 5, 6, 7, and 8.
Even her shadow has stretch marks.
She put on a malcolm X t-shirt and a helicopter landed on her.
And finally…
Your mama’s so fat she has more chins than a Chinese phone book.
Yo mama’s so ugly, she scares the flies off a shit wagon
Yo mama’s so ugly, her dad slapped her in the face and thought it was her ass.
Yo mama’s so ugly, she makes blind people cry.
Yo mama’s so ugly, she threw a boomerang and it never came back.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she thought a quarterback was a refund.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she got fired from an M&Ms factory for throwing away all the Ws.
Yo mama’s so old, her breast milk turned to powder.
Yo mama’s so old, she owes Jesus three bucks.
Yo mama’s so fat, she stepped on a rainbow and made skittles.
Yo mama’s so fat, she stepped on four quarters and made a dollar.