a have a sewer-demon-flute which summons all sewer demons to rise and attack when I blow on it. One of the sewer demons eats you and the pineapple. since these demons don’t like pineapples, it shoots it out of a manhole cover at a super extreme rate of speed. I catch the pineapple as i go up in a space shuttle for an exploration of Pluto.
I flush myself and wait for Trev to pass me by. I launch a surprise attack on him while riding on the back of a giant sewer alligator, take the pineapple, and promptly teleport away.
When you teleport to your destination, I surprise you by being there. I taser you and then run away with the pineapple.
you all have the wrong pineapple.
so I just go on with my ordinary business of exploring the planet.
But i saw your spaceship and grabbed it & took the pineapple out of the Spaceship to experiment with my Zoom H4n.
i parachute out, and use radar to hunt you down. I smash your Zoom H4n. when you are crying because of the broken machine, I steal the pineapple. I then call the entire US Military, Secret Service, FBI and the CIA to protect me.
But i transformed into a HULK & throw with the vehicles of the entire US Military, Secret Service, FBI and the CIA into eachother and throw your cellphone to the window of the Rockfeller Center to whack some police cars too, then i ran away with a Harpsichord and throw it into the sea & steal the pineapple out of your hands.
I turn into superman and super punch you in the face and fly away to Asia, and proceed my journey to the bottom of the Pacific Ocean where Neptune lets me live with him, but he takes the pineapple away from me and he eats it, so I kill him and take the pineapple back and live in his palace forever and ever
I send an atomic bomb to land directly over you.(i use radar). I go back home. I decide to kill myself. Before I kill myself, I tell my parents to bury this pinapple with me. I shoot myself, they put the pineapple with me in the grave, and put a 5 ton tombstone over it.
Tombstones aren’t put on top of graves, but behind it, so I just dug up your grave to steal the somewhat rotted pineapple, which disgusts me. So I give to one of my friends and told him the LONG story of the pineapple and why he should guard it with his life.
I find your friend and kill him automatically and take the rotten pineapple and give a refresher spray and take on my adventure to the center of the Earth in my heat absorbent digger
i follow you down there and wait till you fall into the lava. you drop the pineapple in the lava and i pick the scalding hot pinapple with large tongs.when I get to ground level, i stick it on [Insert Notessimo Member Here]'s head and watch it burn to try to cool it off. that takes too long so I just dunk it into the lake. I then put on a fake sharks fin and swim around the lake.
I find out that the sharks are fake and then grab the pineapple out of the lake and then I jump all the way to Antarctica with the pineapple in hand, and when I get there, I make friends with the polar bears and they let me live with them. One of the stupid polar bears eat the pineapple and sadly, I have to kill it and all the members of the polar bear family. I continue to live in the deep, dark cave for the rest of my life.
The rest of your life is only two days. The cave collapses on you and this event makes the World News. The reporter said: “… a (fe)male was found holding for dear life onto a pineapple.” I make my quickest move to the airport to get on a private plane to Antartica. After being denied three times, I hold the Airport flight manager at gunpoint untill he let me go on the trip. When I arrive in Antartica, i follow my hand drawn map of antartica to the site. I kill all the news reporters by smaking them to death with one of the cameras. I came back to the plane landing site only to find that it had flown away. I go back to the dead news reporters and try to call on their cell phones, but they all required passwords to get in and make a call. I use pliers to take off the roof of a van nearby and make it into a makeshift raft. i float off Antartica…
However, the police were notified of you, and have progressively found out who you are via evidence at the murder scenes and airport, and thus track you down. You are picked up and arrested, and I, being part of the force that tracked you down, saw how frantically you were clinging to the pineapple. I somehow manage to take it from your extremely tight grasp, and make my way back to the secure police station, locking the pineapple in a safe, and watching over it… until…
I walk in as a fake police officer and tell you that you are free to leave, but you gotta give the pineapple. You struggle to give me the pineapple but I take it away. The cops find out that I am a fake and they chase after for miles. As soon as they lose me, I jump on a plane and go to China, where I live with the ruler.
The ruler was me in disguise. I headlock you and strangle you to death and leave your body in a river to float around and rot while I steal the pineapple. Meanwhile I go to Area 51 and steal a UFO. I go to a galaxy, far, far, away…
You end up going off track and ending up at the Death Star. As you walk in, you flick a switch to turn on a light. that switch was actually to blow up the whole thing. The pineapple flies away at a high rate of speed. It heads right towards a New York Yankees baseball game and the batter hits the pinapple to the outfield stands (not knowing it wasnt the ball). I am the one who grabbed it. I stay tilll the end of the game.
I see you a few feet away and shoot you with my laser gun, promptly taking the pineapple away and taking a flight to Los Angeles and then jumping off the plane until I land in the Rio Grande river and swim to Mexico, living in a small Spanish Hut in the middle of nowhere
you realize that you had luggage that wasn’t carry-on so you have to get back to the US and that airport to get your bag. You get caught by border patrol and hold you in prison for a week. In the meantime, lazy mexican police officers throw the pineapple so close to the Mexico- Texas border but misses Texas. I hear the story on national news, dress as a border patrollman and take the pineapple. With gun and pineapple in hand, I walk across the river to mexico and sit. and wait.