i break out of jail and border control sees that you are not one of them and they arrest you, giving me the pineapple that YOU took away from me and run back to Texas to hide in the mayor’s office and he protects me for my life.
During a protest outside his office, I light a match and burn the whole thing out. You escape running but I steal an open car I find you amongst boys at a video game shop. I grab a copy of GTA 5. and quickly punch the pineapple from under your armpit. I drive very wildly for a while until I crash the car and have to beat up an elderly couple for their car. Unfortounatelyit only goes 25 MPH. I just then run like @#$% to a department store and pose like a mannequin
I find out that you are a mannequin cause i can see your belly move when you breath. I punch you in the face and as you get up, i take the pineapple away from you. i run to New Zealand and live somewhere…
you must have some skill to run to new zealand. did you run on water?Anyway.you come at a bad time. The largest typhoon (greater than the one in the phillipines) is occuring. there is no food and are tempted to eat the pineapple. you place it on the ground when you are using the bathroom and then a hungry mob of new zealanders come in and take the pineapple. I take a plane to the pineapple because i had put a locating device in it earlier. I had seconds to spare before they cut it up and i beat the living @@#$% out of them all and move on to Australia. I place the pineapple in one of the kangaroos pouches and i sit under a tree.
by the way, i can run on water, therefore, I AM JESUS!! yea… the jalapeno seller in the middle of Mexico
back on topic…
I AM THE MOTHER KANGAROO IN DISGUISE!!
I kickbox you to the death and take the pineapple to a far away galaxy where no one can find me until…
The Death Star comes within your line of eyesight and you make your way over. You are hoping to stay there. The death star at the moment was being rebuilt after it’s blast on December 24th, 2013. I BLOW IT UP AGAIN! I look through a space telescope and see that the debris (including the pineapple) are heading in a direction that will not hit earth. So, I hijack a space shuttle and head to oouter space. I hadn’t realized that the Death star explosion caused the moon to crash right into the earth, pushing the earth off it’s orbit around the sun. aaand the earth wwill eventually end up way of into outer space
well, in the debris, is me. i have a spacesuit and jump onto the earth just as it is about to go off orbit and land right next to you and take the pineapple away from you and use my jet pack to fly away to the middle of China, and then disguise myself as a middle-aged Chinese Man
Due to the off orbit earth, some parts of the Earth don’t get adequate sunlight, china being one. Because of this, Rice production goes way down and you eventually die. Some other chinese man finds the pinapple, takes the seeds, and starts a pineapple farm. I see this on the National news and go over. I go to that man’s house and steal the only pineapple there. I steal all his renminbi he obtained and go on a Pacific Ocean voyage on an old chinese ship filled with fireworks.
Having rigged the ship with explosives, I blow the ship up, launching all the fireworks with the pineapple on one of them. I use my super space grabber to take it, which then after I run away to Canada and disguise myself as a hot dog vendor
I just remembered that I had grabbed the wrong one because the real pineapple had a locating device in it and my secret wristwatch said that it was located in a safe hidden in the dead Chinese man’s house. I swim back to China. I open that safe by slicing it open with a samurai sword. I move across the border to Russia and soon have to throw out the locating device because of potential hackers. I stick it(the locating device) in a Russian bomber’s backpack and then get a free ride on the Russian Railroad to Moscow, disgusting looking pineapple in hand
well… I AM IN MOSCOW WHEN YOU ARRIVE!!!
I take the pineapple and use my refresher spray and make the pineapple better.
As i am spraying, i push you on the tracks and then a train comes and you die…
I take a scuba suit and take an underwater adventure until i i swim up into Seattle, Washington, and build a house on the point of the Space Needle and live there.
Well, the house interestingly stays balanced and after one night, you forget that you are not on the ground and fall to your death. The city officials then threaten to knock down the house. in the process of destroying the house, the pineapple rolls out of the house, and keeps rolling at a fast rate of speed down streets. at it’s max speed of 100 MPH, it goes off a ramp and fys into the air and landsin the colorado river, where i am kayaking. i spot it, and get the pineapple I then buy 300 tons of illegal explosives and strategically place them all around the vicinity of the river. I seet up camp on a rock just nearby
I set the explosives off in a seemly accidental way from a safe distance. You, however, were severely injured due to your close proximity. Lucky for you, I called some people to bring you to an Hospital. Later on after you heal, we both go to a jury. Me and the pineapple against you. You will most likely be brought directly to Jail for the ownership of illegal explosives.
before the court date, I let the air out of every police car tires. When they try to take me, the car won’t budge. while the police officer is investigating under the hood of the car, I take off a headrest and smash the back window open. I grab a sip of his coffee, take his doughnut and the pineapple, and grab his tazer and handgun from the front seat. I bolt quickly for ten miles or so until i stop for a breath. seeing that the police are after me, I run into a wig store and put one on, grab a uniform, and stand behind the cashier.
i am the cashier…
i take the pineapple away and slit your throat, ending your life.
i go live with Patrick, under his rock
“Not so fast!” yells a police officer who sees you. You are taken to jail and to court. Meanwhile, surgeons had to reconstruct my body and luckily I live. Unfortounately I have limited mobility so I place the pineapple in my Spongebob themed fish tank posing as Spongebob’s house. I made a purchase of 3,000 Barracudas to place inside. I live on my normal life stuck at home.
It’s night when i steal your barracudas, i even stole the pineapple again.
The barracudas sting you like crazy and I am shocked that you are still alive. Seeing that you haven’t moved, I throw you in a bathtub, which I pour the barracudas into. I take the pineapple, steal a bike and ride up to a sign that reads:
Actor Needed for upcoming film “Life of Pi-napple”
Must be at least 15 years old
Must have experience with Pineapples
Call 773-202-5862 for more info
I audition for the part and make it into the movie proudly holding the pineapple.
I break into the movie set and say that i am a prop holder, but i am late. When the director says cut, i cut you in the leg and take the pineapple away from and go to France, to live with the leader, in a highly guarded palace.
WWIII begins and everybody is going against the French. I am the pilot of a bombing plane and bomb the palace. I parachute out, grab the pineapple and become the new supreme leader, making everybody bow down to me