…
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
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It wasn’t. Numbers are not sentient and are thus incapable of emotion.
(this better not have been posted yet)
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Well, I tried…
I had a feeling that would happen.
Redeeming joke: Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to a free land where the motives of a chicken crossing a road would not be questioned!
Q: A burnette and a blonde fall of a cliff, who hit the ground first?
A: The burnette, the blond has to stop and ask for directions
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*brunette
Oh,
A man goes walking one day and comes across three doors, each guarded by a ferocious-looking, axe-weilding, armored, 8-foot-tall guard. As the man stares, rather puzzled, an old man comes up. “I can tell you a secret,” the old man begins. “Those doors all lead to different places. One to vast amounts of gold and safe passage, one to certain doom, and the third just safe passage. You get no wealth, but you can proceed. Just ask the guards. They’ll tell you. But be warned: One guard tells only the truth, one only lies, and the third…well, he slaughters anyone who asks him a tricky question.”
Why did Sally fall off her bike?
She had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Not Sally.
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Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Not leifeday, if he keeps using Comic Sans.
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Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ace.
Ace who?
Ace of Spaces by Motorhead.
No offense, but that is really the unfunniest joke I have ever heard in my entire life.
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Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Et.
Et Who?
Brute.
Yay for stupid jokes! 
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have you SEEN my signature recently?
a guy goes to a piano and is going to play a song. he notices that he forgot his music.
"i’ll be Bach. i need to get my music."the guy says.
"I think you can Handel it without the music."the other replied
Did you hear the one about the atom?
it was so Bohr-ing
why was the football player mad when someone stole his money?
he wanted his quarter back
You’re on a roll!
I found this on Funny.com. I believe it to be quite hilarious:
(Warning- contains some language and mature content.)
[details=Click to expand] HELL EXPLAINED
BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT
The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona chemistry mid term, and an actual answer turned in by a student.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. There fore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today.
Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
- If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
- If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, ‘It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,’ and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct… …leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting ‘Oh my God.’
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+. [/details]
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It’s: [CODE]
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whateveryouwant
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But great joke, has a few smaller ones in it. Although usually I don’t bother reading long ones heh.