the pineapple lands deep in the water and I fish it out. i then hide an a dead crocodile carcas.
I find the dead carcas, then dig a hole 10 feet down and drop the pineapple down.
I bury you alive, then take the pineapple and wash off the pineapple in a nearby water source. I then hike to the nearest mountain with the pineapple in my clutch. I then reach the top of the mountain. I meditate and form a protective barrier with me and the pineapple inside.
I send a kamikaze pilot to crash into the barrier. I grab the pineapple, ski down the mountain to the nearest city.
I drop a pineapple-proof atomic bomb on the city, then take the pineapple and burn it in a fire.
I drive by in my pineapple truck heading to my secret stash.
I raid your pineapple truck along with my party of bandits. We take all the pineapples inside and leave a parting gift: a pipebomb in the exhaust. As we ride away into the dusty dunes, the bomb detonates, destroying the truck.
I call my family to kill all of your bandits and tie you up into our burnt toast torture machine, where you are frozen and stabbed.
We bring you back to life and drop you in a nearby river where you float off into the ocean and we take all your pineapples and use all, but one, for weapons which are able to sense ANY human nearby and immediately destroy them.
I do not panic, as the chemicals are non-toxic. I continue my work on the pineapple DNA. Eventually, I make a breakthrough. I grow a pineapple. I hold it up high.
“This pineapple has the cure for cancer!” I exclaim loudly.
(…uh…hm…the forum glitched up on me. Cut that part out.)
I ride my magical unicorn to your place and grab the pineapple when you didn’t expect it. I fly away to a barriered fortress somewhere in the ozone.
I watch you fly away, then sigh. “I guess I’ll have to get the REAL pineapple out now,” I say reluctantly. Back in your hands, the pineapple emits a soft beeping that gets faster. It erupts into a black hole, high in the sky, that expands to have a diameter of 500 miles. Everyone can see it, and it completely obliterates your castle. I get the pineapple out, extract the cure for cancer, and set the pineapple on a pedestal. I get a lawn chair and sit there, observing the pedestal. I make sure all weapons are locked away so I cannot kill or be killed.
As you may thought I was killed, I knew that it was fake. I come back down on my unicorn and swoop once again with a pineapple in my grip, until, I accidentally drop the pineapple in a nearby lake.
I emerge from the lake, pineapple in hand.
i throw back a large fish I caught right at you and knock the pineapple out of your hands. i clime to the tallest tree
I cut down the tree your in, and catch the pineapple falling out of your hands. I ride a bicycle to the nearest city.
I fire a grappling hook at the front wheel at your bicycle, flinging you and the pineapple forwards. I time a knife throw at your head just right, leaving you unconscious and with permanent brain damage. I sprint and jump, catching the pineapple. I sprint away into the city.
But i am there with my Pick-up, prank calling you & steal the pineapple. I see now 2 houses when i race as fast as i can into the city.
Not fast enough, I jump in front of your pickup and fly through the window and grab the pineapple. I run off to the city.
I enter the Music Store & buy some amplifiers & keyboards to surprise you, you accidently fall & i run away with the pineapple to the city while my keyboards & amplifiers are moved into the music shed.
i find a large and powerfuul fan to blow the shed at you. i grab the pineapple and throw it into some wet cement and wait as it dries… and wait, and wait, and wait…